I dont want to get up

Saturday
Went to (yes you’ve guessed it) Meadowhall again. Just had a leisurely stroll round and a bite to eat.
Sunday

Got up at 11.30 after a fitful night. Saw my brother and family in the afternoon for a little while but had to come home and get back into bed as I felt so tired. I couldn’t get to my sister in laws birthday later in the day.
I’ve tried the machine that helps me breath, I am finding it extremely hard to adjust to, and it’s making me feel very queasy. It’s a very strange sensation. The doctors tried o explain the machine to me, it would breathe for me if I didn’t breathe!


Monday
I didn’t get up at all today I just slept, I felt very week and tired and I had stomach cramps. Mum stopped all day in the room just in case I took a turn for the worse. John and the kids kept coming in to see if I was still breathing. This is how bad the situation is now my Children scared that they will find me dead in my bed. What can I say to them that will help them? I am at al loss.


Tuesday
Woke up feeling a little better. Spoke to Dianne, a lady that is also waiting for a lung transplant in Newcastle. The waiting is torture. She has now been called 9 times (twice at the weekend). I don’t know what’s worse, not having a call or being called so many times and having to come back home again. I hope to keep in touch with her over the coming months. I told her that she doesn’t have t say she’s alright to me she can tell me exactly how she feels because I probably feel or have felt the same at some point.
Wednesday
Watched a little TV today and generally feeling sorry for myself. I can’t seem to shake this negative feeling I am having. I ate a little for Dinner and tea and then immediately had indigestion. I think this is common with people with lung disease. We all seem to take the same medication when you talk to each other.
Friends came around in the evening and watched a complete series of house on DVD . It was a nice change to sitting by myself watching TV in my room alone. Yet again more football on the TV!!!
Thursday

Felt weak again today and stopped in my room, Watched a little TV and did a little of my assignment but just didn’t feel up to it.

Friday
I have been in bed all day , I haven’t got the energy to get up.