07/10/08

My family is feeling the painMonday

THIS illness has caused trauma to my family. It not only has caused me pain and agony but my family have gone through the same. I think people forget what happens to the family in times like this. My son needs stability and me going backwards and forwards to mum’s is not helping him.



Tuesday

NOT slept well. The headaches have been increasing lately and last night I tried one of the stick-on patches, which seemed to help.

Mum came round and cuddled me. I can’t stop crying again, it’s all getting too much for me to handle at the moment. I don’t look ill with my make-up on and hair done, when I can manage it. In a warped sense I think I’m OK, even though I have oxygen tubes all the time and only 18 per cent lung capacity left. I went for a short trip to Meadowhall and cried again.



Wednesday

DIDN’T sleep at all last night, felt very hot and uncomfortable. I’m trying to make a stew but it’s proved too much for me. I’m waiting for mum to come and do it. I try to sit in the kitchen and push the stool with my feet to get about, but I still get out of breath.



Thursday

THE weather has turned now and the wind and cold took my breath away. I am going to have to be careful and take a scarf with me to cover my face in future as I easily panic if the wind hits my face. Went out for my friend Sue’s birthday in the evening - difficult when you have two oxygen cylinders, wheelchairs, bags and the restaurants are small and have steps. Most shops and restaurants do cater for the disabled but some still don’t, which is surprising after all the publicity. I had a lovely meal but did then suffer from heartburn. Got to bed quite late, and had a bad headache. But it was worth it.



Friday

I AM now at mum’s and feel relaxed now my headache’s gone. My beautiful niece is coming tonight. I had an email from a gentleman who I worked with six years ago which was lovely - he said he reads the paper each week. My friend Ann also told me her mother-in-law always reads the diary. I can’t believe how many people are reading this. I’ve asked dad if when I get the call for the transplant he will do the diary so readers will know exactly what it’s like living through the first weeks of a transplant, and realise how fortunate I am to have had one and how thoughtful the donor’s family has been. I hope it’s my time soon.

Just had a call from Dianne’s husband - she had a transplant last Wednesday, but then she was taken ill and is on a ventilator.